In Which My Son Discovers Crapitalism

I don’t know why my children hate the grocery store. Is it because I routinely refuse to buy them absolutely everything they suddenly and passionately crave simply because they’ve looked at it? Or maybe it’s because I won’t just let them loose to run around screeching and pulling merchandise off all the shelves. I don’t know. In any case, yesterday I randomly broke discipline and caved into my son’s desperate plea to buy him a toy “dinosaur egg” that came with a small brush and plastic chisel to be used to dig into the dusty grey plaster “shell” thus revealing the tiny plastic “dinosaur bones” that had been entombed therein by the manufacturer. The package promised that once excavated, the bones would snap together to form a little skeleton.

Yes, yes, it was a mistake to buy it; in my defense it was “only four dollars please daddy can we it’s so cool!” Also, it’s been almost two full weeks since Christmas.

At least it made him happy for a little while. He couldn’t wait to get home to play paleontologist, which he did for about 5 minutes before remembering that his real mission in life is to play Roblox, and it wasn’t until several hours later, in response to my¬†announcement that it was bedtime, that he suddenly felt compelled to get back to work on the “egg” and, oh yes of course, on covering our dining table with a layer of gritty dust.

But there’s a happy ending here, as I see it, because as I mentioned the packaging had promised that the little plastic bones would snap together to form a skeleton, and they didn’t. Not at all. Try as he did, the pieces just didn’t fit together, and when he finally gave up he bemoaned his disappointment and frustration. “Wow, I can’t believe it!” he whined. “That was a complete waste of four dollars!”

I hear you, son.